Pop Goes The Culture: Austrian Television!!!

It's pouring rain outside and I have the house to myself for the weekend, so I'm sitting on the couch currently watching the finale to Germany's Next Top Model, so I figure now is as good a time as any to share with you the last segment of my less-than-successful series: Pop Goes The Culture! Today's topic: horrible Austrian television!!

I spent so much time watching TV shows that I thought it would be a good idea to try to watch some Austrian shows both to embrace the culture and to help my german skills, but every time I asked students or friends what Austrian shows I should watch, they just laughed in my face. All they watch, they claim, is American shows dubbed into German. While I tried watching How I Met Your Mother and the Big Bang Theory in German, I just couldn't handle how terrible their voices sounded and frankly, it didn't do much for me. So that plan failed.

What I did discover, however, was a plethora of Austrian reality and competition shows of the kind of quality TLC and MTV would be proud of. While I'm sure there are sitcoms and dramas and other "normal" TV shows, there are way more of these reality kind of shows, most of which revolve around dating. Here are a few I've gotten to know:

Bauer Sucht Frau ("The Farmer's Looking For A Wife"): The title kind of gives away the premise, but what makes this show fantastic is just how stereotypical it is. The farmers are 10 guys from around Austria, all of whom either own a farm or live and work on their parents' farms. They range in age from 25 to 50. The show's hostess, a woman with HUGE lips, super long and gorgeous brown hair, and the most frilly, milk-maidy dirndl imaginable comes to visit each of the farmers to interview him and his family/friends, see his place, and find out what kind of girl he's lookin for. Then women who are interested in each farmer send letters, the farmers read the letters, and pick three women to come visit their farm, and then choose one.

Hostess, Katrin Lampe

Having an in depth discussion about his ideal woman.

Now, here are a few things I noticed about this show. The scenery is stunning, and while it's full of super kitsch shots of rolling hills, craggy mountains, the hostess trekking through a field of flowers, the men driving their big tractors, etc, there's no denying how gorgeous these farms are. Also, all the people involved are normal people wearing normal clothes, talking about normal things. The women drive themselves out to the farm (no limo and rose and unrealistic heels and mini skirts ala the Bachelor), and I very much appreciate that. As ridiculous and stereotypical as the show is, perhaps it does help rando farmers who wouldn’t have any other way of meeting someone, find their mates!

let's talk about his outfit.

And let's talk about his outfit too. I'm pretty sure he was trying to show off how many pull ups he could do. Or something equally lame.

Sorry, if that cat is around, I am NOT writing in to go
on a date with you. Mr Grumpypuss.

One of my favorite moments in the episode I watched (I couldn't stand more than a few), was when these two girls showed up at Farmer Andreas' house, and there was therefore a little fued because girl #2 brought Andreas a present during their first meet and greet. The present was this little cow bell collar (that was super adorable), but it pissed off girl #1, because she thought it was pretentious. It was pretty dramatic. Also, they pick weird background music. For example, Pumped Up Kicks was playing while they were all reading the letters, which is somewhat ominous, considering the actual significance of the song. I think they just choose catchy American songs, regardless of what they’re about. Whatever. 

Also, one of my friends from Upper Austria told me she knows one of the farmers in the show! So they're real people!! Anyway, so that's the hilarious farmer show.

Messer, Gabel, Herz ("Knife, Fork, Heart"): This show is another dating show, which seems like it belongs on MTV. A woman goes to the home of four different men, each of whom cooks her a three course meal, and as they eat and chat, she chooses one of the four to go on further dates with. I heard about this show because an Austrian friend told me that he was approached while shopping one day to go on the show, and offered 400 Euros for it. He declined but several of his friends accepted. So apparently they're desperate to get people for the show! I thought it was hilarious because the people were SUPER awkward and the name of the show kind of makes it sound like you're eating a heart. Which is creepy. Here are some screen shots of moments in the show (again, I could only last a few episodes--it was pretty painful).

Hi, sorry, does that say "Miss Online Autonews 2. Platz" aka runner up? To an "online something or other" pageant? Well, Good for you Corinna! I'm glad you're proud of your accomplishments!! 

Again with tshirts. I don't think this is an appropriate first date look. I get you're going for the casual look, but maybe a plain white T would have been better??

Okay actually this guys was super adorable and I was definitely rooting for him. Although the blindfold was a little creepy. I don't think I'd go for a blindfold when I'm at a strange man's house, but to each his own, Miss Online.

This show wasn't as ridiculous as Bauer Sucht Frau, other than the questionable conversations that went on during the dates. Also the girl would randomly wander through the boy's room and stuff while he was cooking dinner (some of them still livd with their parents). The weird part was at the end of each episode when the girl left a note for each of the guys telling him what she thought of their experience together. She hand wrote the note while the boys were cleaning up from dinner (maybe?) and left it in a heart-shaped box for the boy to find after she left. Cute.

Other shows, which I will not go into detail about include "Mama Sucht Mir Eine Frau" (My mom's looking for a woman for me), "Schwiegertochter Gesucht" (Searching for a daugher-in-law), "Millionaer Sucht Frau" (Millionaire's lookin' for a woman), and others. Like I said, this is no worse than Room Raiders, Parental Control, that awful bride surgery show, Sweet Home Alabama, and other bizarre shows we have in America, but I guess it's interesting to see that culture exists here as well!